(Before continuing I ask that you download "Only You" by the Platters and have it playing as you read. Jensen you can just put the vinyl on the turntable and relive your greatest moment.)
Saturday morning / afternoon in a dark, dirty, little watering hole adorning the owner's namesake "Young Flannigan’s" day #3 in the bayou begins for us cretins. An eclectic crowd of misfits congregates around the circular bar as the tender (without an acknowledgment of the patrons presence) ensures each glass remains full of the preferred inebriant. Drew had gutted out an inspiring 3 games of "monkey toss" on the megaT before eventually succumbing to the previous night's tequila+felafel gut rot that would put even Nick Nolte's tail between his legs. A plate of "huge frickin nachos" and a mountain of onion rings helps Jensen and I avoid the stares of the flamethrowers that were perched across the bar complete with pink feather boas. To make a short story (which I have made long) somewhat shorter, what followed was some more digital monkey wacking (MegaT not the flamethrowers), confirmation of a thong being worn by a bayou bengal (aka cougar), and some obligatory monster truck talk with aforementioned tender. The tab next came, and we then paid. As we prepared for departure the jukebox in the corner started to get warm thanks to an elderly couple that had apparently gotten lost looking for Harrahs, but had plugged the juke full of nickels all the same. It was at this time when a melody came spewing out filling the room, of which my ears had never heard. Myself standing and wondering why Jensen continued to sit, noticed that it is this sweet sweet serenade that Jensen was waiting for. As the Platters greatest hit "Only You" thrust through the speaks I realized that for all intensive purposes Jensen was alone in his own mind and world. For the next 2 minutes and 46 seconds Platter #6 slowly, sweetly, yet scarily lip-sang the most passionate performance I have ever witnessed. I tried to tell myself that he was transporting himself to his far away love Alison, but looking back I am not entirely convinced this was the case. I of the belief now that his eyes were not in fact closed but instead looking down towards his green bean stirred bloody mary. When the juke silenced, he reluctantly uprooted from his chair and we exited Young Flannigan’s without speaking a word, partly because I was so choked up which was just as well because there are not words in the English language that can even begin to describe that experience. I give you Platter #6!
I apologize for not joining you gentlemen in the Big Easy, but I feel that one oppressive leader is plenty. I understand that StAle-in and his aggressively large mustache will be touring the bayou for the commissioning of a new Gulag. 
Three weeks ago, I had to agree to travel for work on Wednesday, the day before the trip. Not only would I be traveling, but I was going to have to spend the night and the better part of the the next morning in the local establishments. My hosts know how to enjoy themselves, so I jokingly said that I would be able to tell if we'd gone too far if I wound up as part of some early morning hunting expedition. Needless to say, this could've affected the state I would've been in as I entered New Orleans.
If we run into Master P, let's hope it's early in the evening. If we're of sound minds, we probably won't approach him. Later in the night, though, I'm probably stumbling through his entourage to ask him why he didn't make it to the NBA.
Just close your eyes and listen for someone at the corner of the bar bragging about his kids.......aaaannnnnd we found him. I don't know if I could handle an encounter with Archie. He might be a great guy, but if Eli was my kid, I'd have disowned him by now.
Celebrity? Why not. I'm guessing all three of you would die to run into him while we're out on the town. I'd enjoy watching him try to socialize at a bar without ever using his left hand.
Goodman owns a house in Metairie, Louisiana, so I'm sure he ventures to New Orleans from time to time. We'll see him late night at the blackjack table. Join him at the table and dominate the dealer for a shoe, and we'll be best buds in no time.
One current and one former Hornet, these two Serbians are inseparable. They'll probably be blacked-out by the time we see them. If we just join in and act like we know the words to the Serbian songs they are singing, they'll love us for it.
I say we tell them we are also brothers, and that we have traveled all the way to New Orleans for the sole purpose of fighting them. Or we try and have a normal conversation with them, except that we all talk in Aaron Neville's high-pitched voice.
BAM!!!! Emeril is a New Orleans staple, it being the home of his first restaurant and the headquarters for his corporation. Chances aren't good we'll cross paths, but you never know. Introduce him to the wine bomb on Friday, and maybe we have dinner comped at his restaurant on Saturday.
Quarterbacks are a competitive breed, and the way Kyle Orton has been partying through his first few seasons, Drew can only try and keep up. Orton will be my ice-breaker, as will the mole I will have drawn on my face by this point.
It's a little known, but often assumed fact that once the Real World: New Orleans wrapped, cast member David walked straight to the nearest street corner, began singing for money, and hasn't left since. I just want to stop on the corner for one rendition of "Come On Be My Baby, Tonight" and then move on.
In New Orleans filming Into the Mist, I'm sure he still does his fair share of partying. The Iowa connection will be reason enough for a round of shots, let's just pray he's not out with Tom Sizemore, who's also starring in the film.
Yes, this is a picture of me standing in what is the beginning of the Mighty Mississippi.
Yes, that is Kirby Puckett on my t-shirt.
Yes, the only thing keeping that hat on my head is duct tape. I don't know about where you hoodlums were raised, but where I grew up, it was a status symbol: the higher the bill, the cooler the kid. I don't think I need to tell you how cool I was.
At this point, I had one dream in life, and that was to see where that river leads. I'm asking you to make it happen. New Orleans '07
Or Drew, whatever your name is...Happy 26th. I'm thinking the weekend down here can be a collective celebration of the 3 summer birthdays. Sorry to leave you out Bruner, but there's no reason you still can't drink a million beers and collect some Bourbon St. beads!
These are highlights from the US - Brazil U20 World Cup game last night. The US won 2-1 with goals in each half by Jozy Altidore. Go back and watch all the highlights, because it was an amazing game, but feel free to skip ahead to the 2:55 mark(6:45 if it's counting forwards) to see Freddy Adu's moment of Braziliance that led to the game-winning goal.
I can't say enough about this game. Brazil is always a loaded team, and this year, it's no different. Brazil's tournament life was on the line, so to beat them when they needed to win (they still have a chance to qualify depending on how the rest of group play plays out) made for an even crazier atmosphere.
Brazil outplayed us at times and had more composure on the ball, but the US held their own. Brazil's forwards, Jo and Pato, were sick. Pato was the more hyped one coming in, I think there's already a confirmed bid by Chelsea. He tried to chip Chris Seitz, the US's keeper, at about the 60 minute mark. It goes just wide, but it still was a badass play. Jo was way more dangerous, though, held the ball really well, and almost scored a handful of times.
The US put in a performance that will be remembered for a long time. I can't think of one player that didn't have his moments. Robbie Rogers was great on the left wing, with his shot from distance in the first few minutes setting the stage. Sal Zizzo, who plays for UCLA, was going up against someone who plays at Real Madrid. Everyone had their moments, but three players put in performances that need to be addressed.
Altidore played his best game of the tournament. This tournament acts as a showcase for these players to prove what they have to European teams and to try and gain European contracts, and he helped out his cause as much as any. His first goal was a strike that any of the US forwards who played in either the Gold Cup and Copa America are incapable of hitting.
Chris Seitz, who somehow doesn't start for Real Salt Lake, put in one of the bravest performances I've seen by a US keeper. He had to deal with a lot of shots and a ton of activity in the penalty area, but he was fantastic. I don't know when exactly he got hurt, but sometime in the middle of the second half, he began limping and had to have Nate Sturgis start taking his free kicks. He stayed in the game though, and gutted out a last 15 minutes full of close calls.
Nobody shined brighter than Adu today, though. He had a reasonably quiet first half, but he won the ball that Altidore eventually finished and had some dangerous through balls. In the second half, he turned it up a few notches. He was consistently dangerous and combined really well with Altidore, especially evident when he and Jozy had a give-and-go where Adu backheeled back to Jozy for a great chance at goal. He also almost scored from a free kick that forced the Brazilian goalkeeper into a tip save over the bar.
And then there was the game-winning goal. ESPN was using the international feed, and they never showed the full replay that included the magical part of this play. I just caught Sportcenter's Top10, and they still aren't showing the whole play, but his circus act that got him out of the corner and in to position to put the shot on goal was INSANE. There's even a chance that a handball should've been called on his shot, so he almost just finished by himself.
All-in-all, a great game, a great result, and about 500 too many words in this post.
is approaching like the speed of the Snides-mobile.....yeah, that fast!!!! 
will be shining and it will be hotter than shit down here so don't worry about packing the cardigans, but be prepared to drink lots of 
!!
won't? She's even nastier!
!!!!
in hopes of seeing many, many 
!!!!
forward to July 19th!!!!The National playing Start a War in someone's cellar in France.
